Wow. It’s been a minute since I published my last blog. Thanks for sticking around, for checking in on me and for basically being a bloody lovely bunch.

My extended break was for a few reasons. It started with a summer break from social media. But then I got pregnant. Then I had a baby. (Then there was that pesky pandemic – errm, I mean, what the ACTUAL FUCK was that all about?) And then I quickly realised that I couldn’t have a baby – raise her the way I wanted to – and simultaneously carry on with everything else I’d planned to do, as though I didn’t have a baby. 

I couldn’t do it all.

I didn’t even want to attempt to do it all.

I don’t believe it’s possible to do it all. 

That’s not to say the only way to raise a child is to give up everything else and focus solely on that. Do what you need to do. Everyone is different. No judgement; these are just my experiences, my preferences, my circumstances. Respect all ways. Always.

Personally, I wanted to focus – as fully as I possibly could – on just being a mother to my daughter. To not have pressures beyond that for the short time she was very little, specifically the pre-schooler years. Thankfully, I was able to do that. My husband supported me, we’d long planned to have our family that way. (Which wasn’t guaranteed considering our experiences of miscarriage and IVF – but that’s for another time and another blog.) 

I recently wrote to an exhausted mummy friend: 

“Juggling partnerships, parenting and work commitments perfectly feels impossible

– because it is.”

As with everything: you just need to do the best you can do. For me, my best shot at being the mother I wanted to be, meant I had to press pause on everything else.

So I took a break from work. I allowed it to standstill for a while. I was always going to come back to it when I could. When I was ready. When I was able. When doing so wouldn’t have compromised all the other stuff I was working so hard on – and man, this little wildling of mine is SUCH an achievement. She may well be the very best thing I’ve ever made.

So, thanks for holding space for me. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for allowing me to take a breath. It’s good to be back.