It doesn’t matter if you like Christmas or not, it’s pretty hard to avoid getting caught up in it. Usual routine goes out of the window. Work hours get messed up. Your gym’s opening hours inexplicably change. You’re invited to parties you’d rather not go to and you don’t get invites to the ones you’d love to attend. Friends and family that you rarely see pressure you to meet up. People expect presents and cards. Shops get busier. Money gets tighter. Traffic gets worse. The bin men don’t come when they usually do. TV programming is awash with the same films you’ve seen every year since birth and of course Mariah Carey is warbling her way through the whole of December.

I like to think that having worked in the media industry for years I’m not easily influenced by advertising and commercialisation, yet here I am baking my own mince pies, hand making Christmas cards, sticking a tree in my living room and singing along to Mariah like it’s my job. It’s enough to drive anyone to drink.

So, what if all you want for Christmas is to stay sober?

Well poppet, you’ve come to the right blog because I’ve thoroughly enjoyed a fair few booze free Christmases now, and this is what works for me. I hope it helps you too.

1. You are allowed to say no.

You are a grown adult. You have autonomy. You are allowed to say no to that drink. You are allowed to say no to that lame Christmas party. You are allowed to protect your health in any way you damn well need to. You don’t need anyone’s permission. You don’t have to please anybody but yourself when it comes to your sobriety. Determine your priorities, set your boundaries and then uphold them. Be polite. Be firm. Be a stone cold sober badass.

2. Don’t question your choice.

Once you’ve made your decision not to drink, don’t waste any more time questioning whether you made the right choice or not. Just commit to your decision wholeheartedly and don’t look back. Get on with the glorious opportunity of enjoying yourself fully and freely, without the numbing effect of ethanol dulling all of your senses. Whether you’re just wanting to enjoy Christmas day without drinking, or you’re committing to a longer stint at sobriety, this tip remains valid. Once you’ve committed to your decision, throw yourself properly into it. Don’t sit around whining and feeling sorry for yourself, wasting time weighing up whether you should have ‘just the one’ after all – you’ve said that you won’t, so don’t.

3. Have your reason ready.

Unfortunately, there will always be pushy people who’ll want to ply you with booze and they will always be quick to tell you why you should drink, even if you say you don’t want to. None of their reasons are for your benefit, they are always, without exception, for their own. This sort of person is pushy because they don’t feel comfortable accepting things or people as they are. It’s unfortunate, but it’s their problem, not yours. Your sobriety is more important than other people’s short-lived, misplaced discomfort. Have your reason ready in advance and then stick to it with a smile. It’s usually better to come prepared with your reason for not drinking, than try to think of one on the spot. If you appear indecisive you might give the impression that your mind can be changed.

Here are some examples if you need any ideas, pick whichever feels right for you:

“I don’t drink/I don’t feel like drinking tonight/I’m teetotal/I’m driving/I’m not drinking over Christmas/I’m on a health kick/Personal reasons/I’m on antibiotics/I’m on medication that doesn’t mix well with alcohol/I’m doing a sobriety challenge/I’m a recovering alcoholic/I’m an addict/I’m in recovery/I’m allergic/I’ve got a lot on tomorrow and want a clear head/I have work to do later/My hangovers don’t make drinking worth it anymore/I just don’t want to/I don’t feel any need to drink/I don’t enjoy drinking.”

Be warned, particularly pushy people will often keep pushing for more information, trying to find a reason why you should drink. Be resolute and realise that nobody can make a teetotaller drink alcohol any more than they could make a vegetarian eat meat. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. This is your life. Your body. Your mind. Your health. Your decision. If the pushy person in question doesn’t get a grip of themselves pretty sharpish, consider implementing Tip 7.

4. Break it down.

This one works for any situation that you might find overwhelming. If something that you want or need to do makes you feel like jumping back into bed and pulling the covers over your head, just break it down into more manageable chunks. Christmas Day, for example, is just one day. So break it down into 24 hours. Hopefully you’ll be getting a good night’s sleep for about 8 of those. As for the rest of the day, have a think in advance about how you’d like to spend it. We all have different lives but there’s usually a variable combination of the following: sleeping, cooking, eating, drinking, socialising and relaxing. And, ultimately, it’s up to you how you choose to spend the day and who you agree to spend it with. If you usually cook the dinner and hate every minute of it, have a year off, let somebody else take over, or buck the tradition and eat something different, or go out for a meal instead. If you like cooking but find preparing such big meals stressful, ask for help. Delegate jobs. Write out a timeline in advance so you just have to follow the steps in order on the day. Make sure you factor in some relaxation time for yourself. Have a bubble bath. Do a bit of yoga or meditation. Choose a favourite film to watch after dinner. Play some board games that you loved as a kid. Have a sing song. If you feel overwhelmed, excuse yourself for a while. Say that you’re going to walk off dinner with a nice stroll or that you’re going to have an afternoon snooze upstairs. Read that book you never set any time aside for. There is no one way to spend Christmas. Really think about what you want, break it down into manageable tasks and one by one, get the job done.

5. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Learn to feel grateful for what you do have, rather than disappointed by the things you don’t, in time you’ll be able to turn any negative into a positive, after all, the difference is only your perception. You don’t have to be sober, you get to be sober. You don’t have to miss out on getting drunk, you get to experience your life fully present – not many people are strong enough to do that. Be grateful and proud that you have the presence of mind and the strength of character to even attempt foregoing such a commonplace cultural dependency.

Take that first paragraph I wrote above, it’s pretty negative. I can sometimes find myself feeling irritated by all the hoopla that surrounds Christmastime, but actually it’s quite lovely that the shops get busier and traffic gets heavier, it’s a sign that people are out, spending up a storm, generously buying presents to give to each other to show that they care. The trees and the decorations and the mince pies and all of the other traditions, they are upheld and passed on for a reason. Generation after generation, they remind us that there’s more to life than our usual day in, day out routines. They encourage us to stop and think. Re-watching old films and singing our favourite Christmas songs reminds us of how much we all have in common with each other. It enables us to recognise our similarities rather than our differences. All of these things promote love, compassion, togetherness and sharing. They remind us of the fundamental beauty of timeless universal truths.

6. Help others.

You might be struggling to stay away from the drink this Christmas but there will be someone else struggling with the same problem or worse. Instead of spending so much time looking inward and focusing on yourself, try to spend more time thinking about others, how they might be suffering too and how you might be able to help them. There will never be any shortage of people in need of your help and you will never feel as useful or as good about yourself than when you are helping someone less fortunate than you. Every Christmastime I do something extra to help people in need. (But I don’t like to go into detail about that sort of stuff because I’m so God damn humble.)

7. Escape.

Escaping doesn’t have to mean that you make big dramatic exits, slamming the door on your way out. You can calmly, inconspicuously escape pretty much any situation that you feel overwhelmed by anytime you like in any number of ways depending on where you are. Politely excuse yourself. Go for a stroll. Take some deep breaths. Make a phone call. Talk to a friend. Nip to the loo. Have a lie down. Do some yoga. Have a big drink of iced water. Write down your feelings and what might have triggered them. Recite some positive affirmations. Read a couple of pages of a book. Often, a few minutes alone, switched off from whatever is bothering you, is all you need to reboot and re-engage.

I have spent my fair share of Christmases too drunk to properly enjoy them. The only reason I know I was in attendance for sure most years is because of photographic evidence. I appear happy enough in the photos but I wasn’t all there, nobody is when they’re drunk. These days, I absolutely love being fully present. I love springing out of bed early in the morning feeling naturally happy and healthy and ready for anything. I love experiencing every little thing. I love to help out and cook and create new memories and know that I’ll remember every moment. I wish you the happiest of Christmases. I hope it’s everything you want it to be.